I used to enjoy taking my kids shopping... when they were constrained to a shopping cart and infant carrier. Today, however, my kids are three and almost-but-might-as-well-be two, and shopping expeditions as a family only resemble fun if you like reshelving women's underwear and catching Fiesta dinnerware before it hits the tiles (why do they choose not to carpet the dinnerware section?). The kids want to touch everything, and more than that, they want to carry everything shiny and breakable around the store.
In spite of prior knowledge, the kids and I ventured out to Kohl's this evening to do some shopping. I had visions of obedient children dancing (choreographically) in my head and thought with a smile, what fun this will be! An evening out with the kids! And afterwards, we can go to McDonalds and ride home singing to VeggieTales. On top of the fact that I should know better, I had made a list - one of those powerful tools to conquer as much in one trip as possible. We are in wedding/baby/birthday/beach season, so I had a doozy of a list, and surprise surprise, most of what I wanted to buy was in the kitchen section.
I don't know what possessed me to conceive that this would be a good idea - three bridal shower lists in hand, I bravely herded my children through the aisles, adjusting detached mannequin limbs along the way. I am a fool - Proverbs 26 describes us (mostly me) - "As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool returns to his folly." Why do we do the things we know we will regret later?
Weary-eyed, impatient, and dangling an angry toddler by the waist, we paraded most of the merchandise on the trusty list to the front of the store for check-out, me running through the eternal battle of "Do I really need two strapless bras, buy one get one half off?" and "I wonder if I could make it back to kitchenware to pick up one more bridal shower gift." Insanity, I know.
We made it out of the store, with me almost breaking the Fiestaware, all by myself this time. As I loaded the kids and my bags, it dawned on me that I will be back at the shopping center for a dress fitting, alone, this coming Saturday. Silly mommy.